Are you Smarter than this #%$&*?

Okay, so there are some things that just really annoy me. It's past 1:00 in the morning, and there's this really stupid...individual...on Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader? and she's got to be the stupidest... going to stick with 'individual'... that I've ever seen. She has gone through four questions and hasn't got one right yet. I can't even freaking remember what she's missed so far, but her stupidity is really starting to tick me off. She just got this question wrong.

What do the following Roman Numerals represent: XIV?
-Uhh, I think that the X is a ten, and let me see, if there's a V with an I next to it, it's a 6...so the answer is 16!!!

You know, upon reflection I don't think that I'd be a good game show contestant, at least not Are...Fifth Grader. I'd be up there spewing the answers if I knew them and locking them in and if I didn't I'd outright say so and immediately use a cheat. No nonsense, no talking out loud, working my way to the answer. Ya got ONE mouth and TWO ears, why don't you do the math and figure out which is supposed to be used more, oh wait, you can't because you're stupid! Not trying to toot my own horn here, but I've got all of the regular questions right, and I don't know about the first question because I turned to the station a little late, but her stupidity is starting to really annoy me. I love this show, but the people they get aren't even worthy of being called 'air-heads'. Oh good LORD!!! SHE JUST SAID THAT THE UNITED STATES WAS A FREAKING CONTINENT!!!!!!!! THIS $*%$@ SAID THAT THE UNITED STATES WAS A BLEEPING CONTINENT!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SHE SAID THAT ON PUBLIC TELEVISION! SHE IS SO INCREDIBLY NOT SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER I'M ABOUT TO FREAKING PUKE!!! Okay, I have to stop now so I don't get so worked up I go on a bloody rampage.

Sometimes I wonder about myself...

I was thinking about something. Earlier today I was talking with Captain (Savanna to the unlearned plebeians) and Crystal, when the subject turned to the people in Captain's head, and I was thinking about the voices in my head. I have 4.5 voices, the last one is only half because it stutters and I can't understand a word it says. I was thinking about the little people in Captain's head when I realized that my voices weren't politically correct! All the voices in my head are white! The problem is that there aren't that many people with multiple voices willing to share. Tell ya what, any time that I spend with Captain and Crystal usually ends up in some sort of deep, profound thought.

Come to think of it, there are a lot of things I would like to know.
-Why would a woodchuck want to chuck wood in the first place?
-Would the oceans be any deeper if there weren't any sponges?
-At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours?
-If 'pro' and 'con' are opposites, would the opposite of progress be congress?
-How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?
-Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
-If a transvestite goes missing does their portrait get put on a carton of half-and-half?
-What idiot died laughing if laughing is the best medicine?
-Are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
-If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
-Do Chinese people get English phrases tattooed on their bodies?
-How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
-Are the children who act in R rated movies allowed to see them?
-Why is Donkey Kong not a donkey?!

Catholicism 101: Confession

Okay, so lately I've been getting a lot of questions about Catholicism, yes, I'm Catholic. Anyway, so first I'm going to answer some questions about Confession (a.k.a. Reconciliation).

Q: Why confess to a priest?
A: Priests are simply the earthly representatives of God. Some people prefer to confess to a priest because they actually get to hear someone say, as Jesus did, "Go in peace, your sins are forgiven you." However, it's perfectly fine for someone to confess directly to God if you're not comfortable confessing something to a priest.

Q: What happens afterward?
A: After you finish confessing your sins, the priest will recommend something called "penance". Usually, a penance often consists of a certain number of prayers (e.g. three "Our Father"s, two "Hail Mary"s, etc.), doing something nice for someone else, or community service. However, there are sometimes variations. The stuff I listed are just some of the more common ones. Now, penance isn't one of those things that if you don't you won't be forgiven, it's just a way of showing that you're truly sincere in your apology for your sins.

Q: What happens during confession itself?
A: When you enter the confessional (the small room where confession takes place) you have two options. One is that you can choose to either confess face to face, and your second option is to confess behind a screen. After that the priest welcomes you and then you say the Act of Contrition, including how long it has been since your last confession. After that you confess your sins to the priest, and every so often he contributes his own insights. When you're done, he then offers a penance and he blesses you, and your confession is over. Now, you don't have to tell the priest everything during confession if there are some things that you would rather keep between you and God. Now then, priests are trained to forget everything you told them as soon as you leave the confessional, and even if they didn't they are forbidden from ever revealing what someone told them in confession. So, you could confess that you killed someone and the priest would be unable to inform the police. You could say that you were going to bomb an orphanage and the priest would be unable to inform the police. Everything that goes on in confession remains between you and the priest.

Alright, I suppose that about covers it. If you have another question, leave me a comment.

Livin' on the Edge!!

Well, things around here have been rather...active. Last Saturday a friend of mine was at a friends house in Little Kansas, so two friends of mine, and myself all decided that we were going to go pick him up. He told us that we would never find the place, but we decided we knew better. So we hopped in her car and followed my GPS. Well, I'll get to the point and tell ya that that was a mistake. We made the right that the GPS told us to, and we found ourselves on a dirt road. We were on that road for roughly two to three miles, and during the entirety of the trip down the dirt road there were thick clumps of dirt and rocks that were thumping against the bottom of the car. We finally found ourselves in the middle of an old, rusted, abandoned chicken farm. We finally decided that we were going to call our friend to even see if we were going in the right direction. We weren't.

So we told him in no uncertain terms that we were going to go back to the dorms, and we high-tailed it out of there. We got back into a wide portion of the farm where the old pens were, and in that part of the farm the road and the surrounding area are exactly the same. We made a straight line for the exit, and then the car got stuck. The other guy and myself got out of the car while the girl tried to drive the car out. The mud seemed to be made out of rock, mud, and manure. Old, stale, smelly, manure. Well, we finally got out of there after about five to ten minutes of pushing and pulling the car. By that time the other guy's shoes were practically covered in the rancid mess. I'd fared a little better, but only because he tried to hack away at the rocks and stuff with the soles of his shoes. We finally got out of there, but only after a rather rough mini-adventure.